Russo is Wrestling II: A Raw in 2012

This edition of Russo is Wrestling will cover a typical 3 hour broadcast of 2012 RAW as written by 1999 Vince Russo.

First Hour

• The show opens, and Vince Russo is in the ring. He reveals that the anonymous RAW general manager from a few years back was him the entire time. (Hornswoggle was just his personal messenger) Russo then fires the McMahon Family on the spot, (How? Doesn't matter. Ratings!) and vacates all the titles, saying that he is going to reboot the WWE.
• The first match is a unification ladder match for the IC and US titles, which are both suspended above the ring. Kofi Kingston and The Miz battle, and there is a screwy finish where each man pulls a belt down at the same time. Russo comes out and restarts the match as a No DQ match, but both men are down. Suddenly, Tamina Snuka comes out and nails Miz with a Superfly Splash from a ladder to win the Unified IC Title.
• Team Hell No faces Team Rhodes Scholars in a tag match, until SWERVE Kane turns on Bryan. Rhodes makes the cover to win the tag titles. He and Sandow are celebrating until SWERVE Kane attacks Sandow, and reveals his mask to reveal GOLDUST!!! For some reason, Goldust and Rhodes are Tag Champions.
• A backstage segment occurs where Dolph Ziggler sets down the MITB briefcase to take a shower, and AJ Lee steals it, somehow making her the MITB winner.
• The next match is a WWE Heavyweight Title match between CM Punk and John Cena. Punk comes out in street clothes and the announcers address him as Phil Brooks. He cuts a worked shoot about how the WWE never supported him, even when he was WWE Champion, and says that he's tired of this shit. He lays down for Cena to pin him, but Cena, confused, refuses, so Punk leaves the ring and is counted out.

Second Hour

• A Diva's Title Match between Cameron and Summer Rae ends with Ed Ferrara in drag winning the belt, only for Tony Chimel in drag to immediately pin him (The two continue their feud to a brutal Tuxedo Match at Extreme Rules)
• Russo makes a new WWE Championship Match between The Rock and Brock Lesnar in an MMA Glove on a pole match. Lesnar puts the MMA glove on and KO's Rock with one punch, but Nash storms the ring and Lesnar hits him with the title. Nash wins the title by DQ.
• Nash presents the WWE Title to Russo because SWERVE he was paid to win the title for Russo. AJ Lee cashes in MITB and takes out Russo. AJ is the new WWE Champion.
• Russo forces AJ to defend her WWE Title against Natalya in an Evening Gown Chocolate Pudding Match, which AJ wins by DQ.
• Ryback faces a returning Kevin Nash. Before the match begins, a masked referee comes out. The match proceeds until SWERVE the masked referee hits Ryback with a tazer, allowing Nash to pin him. The ref removes his mask to reveal SCOTT HALL. Hall is released the next week and the story is never expanded upon.
• A Reverse Battle Royal is booked to determine the new #1 Contender. Raw special guest Adam Sandler wins after John Cena is disqualified for using closed-fist punches, a rule that is rarely enforced but for some reason the referee made a call on. Cena then assaults Sandler, turning heel.

Third Hour

• AJ and Adam Sandler fight in a Scaffold Ladder on a Pole Match, where you must retrieve the ladder from the top of a pole, and then use it to climb onto the scaffold, and then throw your opponent off said scaffold. Three referees get knocked out during the match, and there are run-ins from random superstars such as Santino, Ryder, Tensai, Brodus Clay and the Funkadactyls (with a full entrance) and Bob Backlund, but John Cena comes back and chases them off, turning face again. Midway through the match, Kevin Nash comes out and reveals that he is actually the father of AJ Lee. Enraged, she runs after Nash, resulting in Adam Sandler winning the WWE Title by countout/DQ
• AJ chases Nash backstage and is run over by a car, driven by John Cena, who is again a heel. Suddenly, Cena attacks Nash, claiming that he is actually AJ's father.
• John Cena vs. Kevin Nash in an "AJ Lee on a Pole Match" for the custody of AJ. Nash tears a quad entering the ring, and as Cena goes to climb the pole, Russo comes out and low blows Cena, before hitting the Leg Drop and pinning him. Russo now has custody of AJ Lee, but this is never referenced on television again. AJ appears on RAW next week making no reference to the car assault or the illegitimate father dispute.